Passion

“Living your passion.” How do you find your passion?

As a young woman, my ideal life was to be married and have a family. I didn’t aspire to be anything other than a Mother. What I perceived to be an important “career” choice. I achieved that goal by age 20 -21. I found my passion in raising my children. I am still passionate about my children, step-children, nieces and nephews. To be that one person, when everything is falling apart. Helping them gather the pieces, rebuild and support their dreams. To be the “Mamma Bear” and defend or discipline them as necessary. As my children have grown from childhood into teenagers and young adults, my passion has evolved, ever so slightly. Now my passion is to prepare them to face the world out side the reach of my arms. To cheer them on from a distance. Even if it means they are possibly going as far as Africa (insert bawling emoji).

I’m now “middle age-ish”. Forty-two, in about three weeks time. I’m realizing that I need to tend to the seedlings of new passions. How do I go about, “finding new passions”? Well, I have been tinkering. Dabbling. Trying out my abilities in different addictions… I mean, activities. Crochet/Knitting, painting, cooking and of course, Honestly Carrie.

My Awesome Mother-in-Law started me on the knitting and crochet path. She knits washcloths. Every so often, I would drop the hint that I would gladly accept a new washcloth. To which she would, in short order, produce and bless my kitchen with her beautiful creation. With the last request, I said, “I should just have you teach me how to do this.” “Then, I wouldn’t have to bother you anymore.” Well, it took several visits to the farm, for me to remember soon enough within the space of our time together, to sit down with her and have her teach me. I did OK for the first half of my “beginners” cloth. Then I totally screwed up on the back half. The cloth would do the job it was designed for, but it wasn’t pretty. So, because I knew it was going to be a while before we would be together again, I watched a Youtube video. Found where/what I was screwing up. I then proceeded to make these wonderful little creations; in BULK. Toward the end of September I decided I was going to make enough wash clothes, that I could give ALL of my siblings and adult nieces and nephews, two wash cloths at Christmas. I did it! The stack of knitted wash cloths was nearly one and a half feet tall.

The accomplishment of my mountain of wash cloths, spurred me to learn to crochet “Granny Squares”. Again, Youtube came to my rescue. Within ten minutes, I had created my first ever Granny Square! (There is sentimentality when it comes to this particular crochet pattern.) I was over the moon with excitement! I immediately started coming up with people I could make blankets for. Perhaps… Just perhaps, I could sell them for an extra bit of income. I am currently making one of my children a blanket. I will make one for all of them. Who am I kidding? I’ll make one for all of my nieces and nephews too… then, I will make some to sell. I have discovered a new passion.

The next “new” activity would be painting. My Father painted. Shucks, my Father could do tons of creative things… I can only dream of having a mediocre percentage of his artistic talents. I try. I have played with acrylics and water colors (I was shown water color pencils – love them). I have painted a few that I am proud of. Some I am, “happy with”. A lot that ended up in a fit of frustration. Followed by the garbage can. I find myself being far more timid in regard to painting. I aim to continue to explore this creative outlet. Perhaps the passion will come to fruition with a bit more time and practice.

Cooking has been an interesting and continual development. I enjoy trying new recipes. They don’t all work out… it’s a growth process. My Husband graciously abides a new dish. The children, are a smidgen, less welcoming to the redesigned menu. In all honesty, I am inviting their critiques. I lovingly accept the thumbs up or down. I classify cooking in my “passion category”, because it is something I will always carry with me. It has ties to my original passion, my family. I have adapted a new way of determining what I put into my own body and by default, changing how my family eats. Setting my family on a path to better health. I also get to teach my children how to prepare food. Show them what it takes to create an inviting meal. This also includes our favorite comfort foods. ‘Cause sometimes you just need a touch of “home”.

Bringing up the rear, is Honestly Carrie. I am a little surprised by how much I enjoy writing. The forum of this blog has given me a space to lay out some of the thoughts that run rampant in my mind. A place to brag. A location to blurt out my frustrations. But most importantly, it has given me a venue to process the previously mentioned thoughts. I have begun a post or two, stuck in an state of exasperation, only to work through and feel more positively about the given topic. Honestly Carrie has given me the passion to put my well-being first. To practice “self care”. Doing things that I enjoy, allows me to be a better version of, Carrie. Again, linking into my initial passion, being the best Mom I can.

Honestly,

Carrie