Thawing out.

I have recently written in my personal journal about feeling “Frozen”.  I have felt like I am stuck.  Constantly re-living and re-healing, but never quite getting on with where I’m supposed to go in my life.  I am “Frozen” in fear of rejection. The endless cycle of fear, anxiety, depression; repeat.  However, I do not intend to use this platform as a poor me, pity party.  I intend to use it as a “This sucks right now.  What am I going to do about it?”, space.  

In the spirit of “thawing out”, I have heard the statement, “Keep the promises you make to yourself.”  The promise I am making right now is to stop being “frozen”.  To be Honestly Carrie.  When I feel like freezing, I’m going to do the opposite.  Essentially, that is what I am doing right now.  My heart is beating 100 times a minute.  Putting myself out in public, and open to criticism.  It is truly terrifying.

I will write about the good, the bad and the ugly.  In hopes that, maybe.  Just maybe, there is one other person in this Grand World, who will read what I am writing.  Perhaps, that person will think, “Hmm, IF She can do it, So can I”.

I am not a prolific writer.  I am not an expert.  But, I do live a life.  I want my right now, to be my happiness.  Not in six months, when I have lost 30 pounds.  Not in a year, when I get to take a special vacation.  Now.  Right Now.  Here goes… Everything.  I will begin to keep the promises I make to Myself…

I make one request of you, the reader.  Please be patient while I figure out this whole “blogging thing”.  I know my subject matter is going to jump around.. a lot.  A LOT.  That my punctuation and grammar may not always be perfect.  Perfect, is not something I claim to be.