I have recently written in my personal journal about feeling “Frozen”. I have felt like I am stuck. Constantly re-living and re-healing, but never quite getting on with where I’m supposed to go in my life. I am “Frozen” in fear of rejection. The endless cycle of fear, anxiety, depression; repeat. However, I do not intend to use this platform as a poor me, pity party. I intend to use it as a “This sucks right now. What am I going to do about it?”, space.
In the spirit of “thawing out”, I have heard the statement, “Keep the promises you make to yourself.” The promise I am making right now is to stop being “frozen”. To be Honestly Carrie. When I feel like freezing, I’m going to do the opposite. Essentially, that is what I am doing right now. My heart is beating 100 times a minute. Putting myself out in public, and open to criticism. It is truly terrifying.
I will write about the good, the bad and the ugly. In hopes that, maybe. Just maybe, there is one other person in this Grand World, who will read what I am writing. Perhaps, that person will think, “Hmm, IF She can do it, So can I”.
I am not a prolific writer. I am not an expert. But, I do live a life. I want my right now, to be my happiness. Not in six months, when I have lost 30 pounds. Not in a year, when I get to take a special vacation. Now. Right Now. Here goes… Everything. I will begin to keep the promises I make to Myself…
I make one request of you, the reader. Please be patient while I figure out this whole “blogging thing”. I know my subject matter is going to jump around.. a lot. A LOT. That my punctuation and grammar may not always be perfect. Perfect, is not something I claim to be.